Complete Sample Prewriting Table

Essay Topic:  Jack London's The Call of the Wild

Your Claim of the General Topic:  claim of quality--excellent; claim of action--recommend to read

Subtopic: action scenes

Your Claim about the Subtopic:  heighten drama with unexpected obstacles

Topic Sentence (subtopic + claim):  London's action scenes heighten the drama for readers with unexpected obstacles.

Concrete Detail 1:  "Straight at the man he launched his one hundred and forty pounds of fury, surcharged with the pent passion of two days and nights.  In mid air, just as his jaws were about to close on the man, he received a shock that checked his body and brought his teeth together with an agonizing clip." pp. 27-28, Ch. 1

Commentary 1:1:  London sets up readers to believe Buck will win with his description of Buck's size, passion, and launching action.

Commentary 1:2: He heightens reader's sense of drama with the surprise "shock" of the man's club.

Concrete Detail 2: "He did not check himself, but drove in upon Spitz, shoulder to shoulder, so hard that he missed the throat.  They rolled over and over in the powdery snow.  Spitz gained his feet almost as though he had not been overthrown, slashing Buck down the shoulder and leaping clear."

Commentary 2:1:  Words like "drove" and "so hard" lead readers to look for an easy win for Buck.

Commentary 2:2: London creates an elevated sense of excitement by suddenly placing Buck's opponent back on his feet.

Concrete Detail 3: "When he felt him grasp his tail, Buck headed for the bank, swimming with all his pleaded strength.  But the progress shoreward was slow; the progress down-stream amazingly rapid."

Commentary 3:1: London creates surprising drama in action scenes that are not even fights.

Commentary 3:2: Buck's "splendid strength" is put in doubt against the "amazingly rapid" flow of the stream.


The words highlighted in pink (It may look purple on your screen.) are the words repeated from the concrete detail in the commentary that help to make a connection.

The words highlighted in green are repeated words/synonyms of words from the claim in the topic sentence.

Good commentary provides a clear explanation of how a concrete detail/example supports the claim of the supporting paragraph's topic sentence.  It's your explanation of your example.

As much as possible, use key words from the claim and from the concrete detail/example in each sentence of commentary to help the reader of your essay to see the connection.

Using carefully selected synonyms of your claim can help to clarify what you are saying.

At this point, don't worry about highlighting.  Focus on getting your four prewriting tables filled out.