Mr. Stone collected the initial outlines from students at the beginning of class. There initial outlines will be evaluated on well the students followed the instructions regarding MLA format (header, student name, teacher name, class date, title, font style and size, and margins) and their inclusion of the thesis and topic sentences of their book report. (See instructions from previous period for more details Look down by the homework.)
After students express no knowledge of outlining, Mr. Stone started with the basics and explained how outlining demonstrates the divisions of a whole. He showed how an outline should not have a Roman numeral one (I) if it does not have a Roman numeral two (II); it should not have letter A if it does not have a B, etc.
He explained how there is not an official MLA format for Outlining. He noted the difference between sentence and phrase/word outlines.
Mr. Stone has chosen to follow the outlining format that Dr. Sandiford uses with sophomores to better prepare the students for his course.
Mr. Stone used a sample paragraph from a fifth period student:
Homework: Revise your initial outline to fit the format described in class. We will develop Roman numeral I and Roman numeral V during the next class. Focus on creating a phrase outline for the body paragraphs of your book report.
As students work on outlining their body paragraphs, they should be sure they have examples from the novel they read/concrete details in each body paragraph and that the two or more sentences of commentary for each concrete detail contains synonyms or key words that connect the example with the claim of quality made in the paragraph's topic sentence.
In the sample paragraph above, "inappropriate" is the writer's claim of quality about the subtopic of "camper-counselor relationship."
The repetition of the quality word "inappropriate" in the commentary and the use of similar quality words "beyond," "suggestive," "obscure," "wrong,"and "highly," connect the examples/concrete details in the paragraph to the claim of quality in the viewpoint of the topic sentence.
Possible Areas of Revision
If students find they need more concrete details or more commentary in their reports, they should make the necessary additions by looking back over the book they read for alternatives.
If they find any of the selected examples/concrete details do not fit, they should switch them out for ones that will work better.
If students find their commentary lacks words that connect to their topic sentences claim, they use the definition and thesaurus functions of Dictionary.com and look up alternatives to use.
After students express no knowledge of outlining, Mr. Stone started with the basics and explained how outlining demonstrates the divisions of a whole. He showed how an outline should not have a Roman numeral one (I) if it does not have a Roman numeral two (II); it should not have letter A if it does not have a B, etc.
Mr. Stone has chosen to follow the outlining format that Dr. Sandiford uses with sophomores to better prepare the students for his course.
Mr. Stone directed students on how to revise the outline they started yesterday to fit the format.
He discussed how many titles express the paper's topic and viewpoint. He created several sample titles by asking selected students the title of the book they were reviewing and the viewpoint of their review, e.g. a negative viewpoint of Kathryn Holmes How It Feels to Fly might be titled "How it Feels to Crash." Students need to develop their own original title for their book report that includes an element of the book's title and the student reviewer's viewpoint.
Mr. Stone used a sample paragraph from a fifth period student:
The first thing I’d like to address was the somewhat romantic relationship between Sam (the camper) and Andrew (her counselor). I felt it was inappropriate. At one point in the book, Sam and Andrew were partners for a trust exercise. Andrew revealed quite a few personal details about himself, despite this being against the rules for counselors. I understand that Andrew wanted to form a bond with Sam, but in my opinion, that was taking it a step too far. Andrew was not supposed to reveal details about his personal life and I think that’s inappropriate. At another point in the story, Andrew and Sam sneak out of the living quarters late at night to do a partner ballet dance. I think that is both dangerous and stupid. It’s not right for the two of them to be outside, touching one another in a suggestive dance, at obscure hours in the night. Lastly, when trying to come up with a “power statement” to boost self-esteem, Andrew made a point of telling Sam how beautiful she was and how she had a nice body. This just feels wrong to me. I get that he was trying to be nice to her, but this gave the wrong impression and came off as highly flirtatious.
Her paragraph outlined might look like the following:
II. inappropriate camper-counselor relationship
A. trust exercises
1. inappropriate sharing
2. beyond bonding
B. Sneaking out
1. suggestive touching
2. obscure hour
C. body description
1. wrong impression
2. highly flirtatious
Homework: Revise your initial outline to fit the format described in class. We will develop Roman numeral I and Roman numeral V during the next class. Focus on creating a phrase outline for the body paragraphs of your book report.
As students work on outlining their body paragraphs, they should be sure they have examples from the novel they read/concrete details in each body paragraph and that the two or more sentences of commentary for each concrete detail contains synonyms or key words that connect the example with the claim of quality made in the paragraph's topic sentence.
In the sample paragraph above, "inappropriate" is the writer's claim of quality about the subtopic of "camper-counselor relationship."
The repetition of the quality word "inappropriate" in the commentary and the use of similar quality words "beyond," "suggestive," "obscure," "wrong,"and "highly," connect the examples/concrete details in the paragraph to the claim of quality in the viewpoint of the topic sentence.
Possible Areas of Revision
If students find they need more concrete details or more commentary in their reports, they should make the necessary additions by looking back over the book they read for alternatives.
If they find any of the selected examples/concrete details do not fit, they should switch them out for ones that will work better.
If students find their commentary lacks words that connect to their topic sentences claim, they use the definition and thesaurus functions of Dictionary.com and look up alternatives to use.
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